Why being mindful means more orgasms!?
So, what is the deal with mindfulness anyway? It floats around and can often have that floaty feel, it fits a certain genre of person and sometimes I feel left out. But does mindfulness really have any benefits?
There is plenty of research out there to suggest, Yes! Mindfulness, meditation, prayer (because they’re all actually contributing to the same thing) is useful. Stroll through any bookshop and you will eventually stumble across a book on how to be mindful, what is meditation, and how to do these things to improve your life.
But why am I writing about it? Well, according to a 2015 study in which more than 200 women participated, being mindful can help you have more orgasms!!! (Adam, Geonet, Day, de Sutter; 2015). This study of women, both in relationships and rocking singledom showed that those who had a mindfulness practice had more positive consensual sexual interactions, as well as solo sexual interactions, and reported more frequent and intense orgasms. Now that is a study I can get behind!
According to Adam et al., (2015) being mindfully present, and not just physically present during sexual interactions, whether with yourself or with a partner increases your ability to have an orgasm. This totally makes sense, and yet with modern day distractions and the often need for external stimulation, it is so hard to be mindful and present all the time. “Cognitive distraction resulting from intrusive thoughts may prevent a woman from focusing on sexual stimuli” (Adam et al., 2015). What does this mean? Well, the more distracted we are the less we are thinking about sex, and the less we are thinking about sex, the less likely we are to get busy doing it. But also, even when we are getting it on, we can often become distracted by our own thoughts and less likely to achieve climax.
I know from personal experience that my own brain is constantly distracted, there is always more washing to do, dishes to put away, meals to plan ahead, meetings to run through, conversations from 10 years ago that magically seem to pop up, and this all leads to being less present, less mindful, and apparently less orgasms!
So why does mindfulness work, “the state of mindfulness results from the maintenance of one’s attention on the present experience, such as bodily sensations, thoughts and emotions that may spontaneously appear in one’s consciousness.” (Adam et al., 2015). Mindfulness helps you still all those thoughts that keep popping up, and focus on what is going on right now. When we begin to incorporate a mindfulness practice into our everyday lives the benefits can often be mind blowing (insert winky face!!!).
And how does mindfulness work? Well, if you haven’t yet been tempted to pick up a mindfulness book, or read a million articles that are floating around the internet, then now might be a good time. Mindfulness works by bringing your attention to the present moment, not allowing yourself to be distracted by all the clutter that fills the mind up. It also helps to stop you from comparing your experiences to previous experiences, going back to the past and predicting the future outcome. “Mindfulness thus trains one’s attention not to be captured by the automatic associations of a given experience” (Heeren & Philippot; 2010). I am notoriously bad for doing things like watching TV, working on my laptop and scrolling through Instagram on my phone. Or rushing to the end point because I’ve done it before and I want a quick result. If this sounds like you then a mindfulness practice could help stop this habit, or at least become more mindful of it. Mindfulness is the slowing down to what is going on around you, absorbing the sights, smells and sensations and allowing those things to fill you up. “Mindfulness is awareness that arises through paying attention, on purpose” (Kabat-Zinn; 2003).
So, how can you be more mindful? Start paying attention. That may seem like a strange concept, because, duh, you are paying attention, but start doing less and concentrating more on that one thing. Next time you are sitting on the couch about to watch tv and open your laptop up, with your cell phone in your other hand, stop. Sit for a few moments in complete silence, feel the weight of your feet on your floor, what does the couch feel like against your skin, what can you smell, what can you hear. And this is your journey into mindfulness.
But, that is not what we are here for right? Where does the orgasm part come in? Well, find out here in our 5 ways to have more orgasms!
Always with Love,